Saturday 20 September 2014

Said is dead


You may recall that the middle boy's teacher doesn't like him to use the words "happy" and "sad".  Now I find out that we are not allowed to use "said" either.  Apparently Said is Dead.  He actually has it writ large on the classroom wall.  And we should all be using more adverbs.  I took a breath.  The middle boy braced himself.  He could sense an opinion coming.  "Said is useful", I said, "it disappears amongst the dialogue, you don't notice it's there."
"We're not supposed to use it" he muttered desperately.
"In Proper Books it's used all the time," I said.  "Look in whatever you're reading there and you'll see."

It was a bad suggestion, he was reading one of those ghastly Beast Quest books, "Issrilla The Creeping Menace" maybe, or "Tauron The Pounding Fury".  The so-called author Adam Blade doesn't actually exist.  Beast Quest is a clever marketing idea dreamt up by the publishers.  There are over 150 books, all sold with collector's cards of course.  They are written by lots of different writers.  Who have no doubt been told that Said is Dead, as there is plenty of exclaiming, hissing and shouting nastily.

I'm all for using lots of different words, but I worry that these rules will stick, and their writing will end up being awkward.  Anyway, as everyone knows, Teacher trumps Mother every time, so I didn't waste my breath telling him not to use adverbs, just to use better verbs.  I'll just come here and have a quick rant instead.

In fact I'm on a bit of a roll now, so while I'm passing I would just like to say (or maybe even comment waspishly) that I've heard enough about devolving extra powers to every single part of everyone everywhere to last a lifetime.  Where will it end???  If we keep looking inwards and arguing and trying to get lots of little local powers we will miss the bigger picture.  The more layers of bureaucracy and the more people given odd bits power the more trouble there will be.  The more scope for badly done jobs, people sitting around doing very little of any importance and getting paid for it and the less accountability there will be.  And the more complicated it will all become.  Do people imagine that it will all be more relevant to them somehow by having the men in suits sat five miles away instead of a three hundred and five miles away.  And what of companies looking to invest here?  Uncertainty will drive them away to somewhere where the people aren't constantly bickering amongst themselves.

I don't like to see lots of expensive additions to our governing bodies.  Mayors and twin towns and quangoes for absolutely everything.  I'd like to see everything pared down and efficient.  Not a long row of snouts in troughs up and down the country.  Because at the end of the day, it is us who will have to pay for all of these extra authorities and governing bodies.  Let's turn our efforts to producing something meaningful like a smoothly-run well-organised outward-looking country.  We shouldn't even have to use the word united.

Right, I'm done.  Two paragraphs, it wasn't too much I hope, but it had to come out.  I think I watched the news too much yesterday.  I shall try to decompress today.  Hopefully the BBC will too.

I spent a good portion of the day at the Children's Hospital yesterday as it was finally time for the biggest boy to have that plaster off.  We waited an hour for someone to slice the top of the cast off and bandage the remaining half to his leg to keep it straight.  It took the nurse about two minutes.  I told the biggest boy that I could have done it myself right at the start and then none of us would have had to sit around waiting for all that time before we could move along to the next place.  He looked a bit alarmed.  I said that if they put the circular vibrating cutters and scissors (both of which are designed not to cut flesh) out the front, the mums could have whipped off the casts on the way in and we would have all saved an hour.  I could tell he really wasn't happy with the idea.  Anyway, we traipsed up and down corridors for a while and the upshot is the leg is fine, although completely stiff, so it will be a couple of weeks at least before he is back at football.

This morning should be calm and happy and spent at home.  Football training has mysteriously moved to week nights, and while that means Wednesday is an insane rush it does mean that none of us have to be anywhere on Saturday mornings.  I'm thinking homework for them and baking for me.  I hope you all have a good weekend with plenty of rest and relaxation.  I'll see you on the other side.

40 comments:

  1. I hope that you have a great day, not being at football training and not worrying about evolving powers or not as the case may turn out to be. Glad to hear that your eldest is out of his plaster and that his leg is doing well, that really is good news isn't it!! Happy weekend. xx

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  2. Loving the rant CJ! I couldn't have put it better myself. And glad that plaster casts are off, football training moved to the week. I hated rugby training at the weekend. Have a lovely, restful weekend.
    Leanne xx

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  3. It's always good to get things off your chest, but I bet it doesn't feel as good as that cast being off the Biggest Boy's leg. Glad to hear that it's healed well, he'll soon be back at football.

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  4. We weren't allowed to use "lots" or "nice" and even now I still feel a teacher's red pen hovering if I write them. But "said"? Good grief.
    Enjoyed your rant; you're not alone.

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  5. Oh well, erm, said. Good to hear your broken boy is on the mend. I'd need some convincing that the elected numpties here should be given more decision making powers. I mean, a monkey found himself mayor in a neighbouring authority. Enjoy your baking session.

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  6. Surely if said teacher is seeking diversity of vocabulary, said should not be dead but instead be deceased, an ex- said, have shuffled off its mortal coil or passed on to the great thesaurus in the sky? I'd feel obliged to point that out to them sometime. But I'm a troublemaker.
    And I'd love to be independent. Not my city or town, just my house. With an anthem, flag and all. Oh, and border controls. I'm good at border controls.

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  7. I am new to your blog, but this struck at my writer's heart! Said is not dead! It just gets redundant in middle school prose. They are trying to get them to write in active voice. However, a well placed said does disappear in dialogue whereas the adverbs and adjectives do get rather clumsy. Of course a middle school child will never be caught reading Proper Books that his Mother recommends!

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  8. I think that saying 'said is dead' is ridiculous and it would really annoy me. I agree with all you say in your rant, and well done for saying it as you have.
    I laughed at your Children's Hospital paragraph as it conjures up such vivid images.
    I hope that you enjoy your weekend too. Flighty xx

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  9. Love the rant!! Glad your eldest is cast free - I've often pondered (is that a teacher approved word?) on the appropriateness of the appointment times in hospital clinics. it's like entering another space time continuum.

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  10. Rant on, lady. I don't even know where to begin, the whole world pisses me off on a regular basis. I appreciate your opinions and ideas. I'm so glad the cast is gone, what a relief. Sorry about the wait, though. That's the thing I dread most about a problem big enough to require the hospital. Not the pain, or the blood loss, or the potential expense, nope. It's the waiting time. I hope you all have a good weekend.

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  11. This made me smile, I didn't go so far as killing said but did encourage my class to go for more descriptive words like shouted, screamed murmured, mumbled etc, which give an impression of 'how said ' to increase their vocabulary. Changing the 'said' word can change the whole meaning of the sentence. Here endeth the lesson - sorry!

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  12. Maybe you wouldn't even need the vibrating cutters. Just a nicely sharpened pair of secateurs.

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  13. Glad that old plaster cast is now a thing of the past. I'm sure he was quite tired of it.

    His teacher sounds a bit odd....I know he probably just wants interesting writing, but sometimes it goes much too far into confusing. There are times when simple is best, I SAID. ;-)

    There will be other teachers that will probably change the directions of his writing. I don't think one will top it all.

    Have a wonderfully quiet Saturday. It is raining here so we are hunkered down with coffee, laptops and knitting. Well, at least for ME there is knitting. I very much doubt that Steve will pick up the needles. ;-)

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  14. Yes, yes and yes. I hadn't even thought about all that added bureaucracy and potential for pointless but overpaid jobs... I can see a rant coming so best head it off with a bit of harmless reminiscing.
    I remember our English teacher telling us the exact same thing: Do Not Use 'Said'. In fact, if I recall it correctly, we were given some kind of sheet full of alternatives. The sort you could stick a pin in and use whichever word you picked.
    I also remember him telling us his absolute favourite word ever was 'memorable'. Good for him.
    Have a great weekend.
    S x

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  15. You are right of course. Whilst some decentralisation would be an excellent step forward in some parts of the country it would be done in such a cack handed over spent way that it would be undone as fast as it was put into place. More rants please.........

    Glad to hear that the cast is off, loved the description of your time in hospital. A perfect example of bureaucracy gone mad if ever there was one, does anyone have an appointment at the time they are given do you think?

    Enjoy your weekend :)

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  16. I'm sure quite a lot of the NHS would be run more efficiently if mums ran it! ;)
    By the way, I totally agree with all aspects of your "rant".
    Wishing you a happy Sunday. x

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  17. I'm so glad that his cast is off and that you're having a lovely weekend. I have to admit I am clueless about the Scotland thing. I don't get it at all, but could see that if they had voted to separate that there would have been huge difficulties for so many people to change everything. ((hugs)), Teresa :-)

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  18. Nothing like a good rant, why can't they be left to express the written word as they want to, it worries me, that it's way of confining creativity, what we're told at school sticks with us, but what would I know I'm not a teacher, as for Scotland, I've been avoiding the news all week. Glad the cast is off.
    Clare x

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  19. Perhaps powers to decide on permitted vocabulary should be devolved to parents? My primary teacher forbade the use of 'love' ... he's probably turning in his grave (he seemed ancient, I feel sure he must be in it) at just how often I use that word.

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  20. PS Hurrah that the cast is off, and commiserations that you didn't get to play with the plaster cutters!

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  21. I remember the Beast Quest books, there were about 10 when the phase briefly visited our house! I never knew there were a variety of authors though.
    Hooray for football free Saturday mornings, my to-do list would have included a lie in!!

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  22. "Wow," Meredith said, "You have so much going on. How can Said be Dead? It makes no sense at all!"

    Meredith also said, "Glad the cast is off and you have all that political stuff off your chest!!!"

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  23. hurray for the removal of the cast x

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  24. Happy to hear that your son got his cast off! My English degree wants to let you know that using 'said' is fine, as long as it's not too often.

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  25. what on earth do we say if we don't say said?
    ah that was rather poetic in a way :-)
    glad the cast is off.

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  26. I am with you on the current state of things and I think it is so important for people to discuss it. In the US we have our own bag of issues which frustrate me greatly. Big corporations rule so much of our country all because they have money. And as for the said issue with this teacher....I do not agree with this...just so goofy!!! Glad that cast is off and that he can get back to his kid fun!! Have a great week CJ! Nicole xoxo

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  27. Glad the boy had the cast off ,my brother cut his own off when he was about 12 .
    We weren't allowed to say or write" nice"or "lots of" but " said " is a new one to me. .
    It does us good to rant, you should see what its like here in France .They love paperwork and rubber stamps you always need to see at least 3 people to get anything done and they are often NOT in the same town .

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  28. I'm glad the cast is off, and you must be delighted to get your Saturday mornings back. Ours are given over to swimming lessons right now, and I kind of miss them. The Saturday mornings, that is, not the kids who are in the swimming lessons.

    As for powers, it's enough to make me want to emigrate to Denmark or some other sensible, left-wing Scandinavian country. xx

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  29. They can't use 'said'? Said?!!!!? Ridiculous. Judging by the standard of the written correspondence sent home from my son's school, I am concerned that the people involved in educating our children only appear to have a tenuous grasp of the English language, even at the best of times. Today's missive involved the plural of iPad being written as iPad's. I took great delight in emailing them regarding their error, naturally!

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  30. I have a mental image of middle boy's teacher as The Grim Reaper, pushing his tumbrel into the the classroom each morning. Word number three goes to the guillotine. I wonder which one will meet its death next? Perhaps Therese Defarge sits quietly in the back of the classroom, knitting!
    Glad to hear the cast is off...and I thought our government was the best at messing stuff up. Whew.

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  31. Your words always make me feel calmer. How interesting that the teacher is advising against using words like said. I've never even thought of that word being anything but useful and practical. I'm glad the biggest boy is out of the cast. I can imagine you are relieved as well. I hope the weekend offered you tranquility and peace at home with your family.

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  32. Glad your boy is out of his cast and that you are free to do your own thing Saturday mornings. I remember whole weekends being taken up by netball training/matches/tournaments. If I had a pound for every time I heard the word 'devolve' - enough said (she said). Have a great week.
    Jane x

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  33. Power to the mums with common sense! That would sort the country out in now time, wouldn't it?
    I am glad the plaster is off, although I am slightly haunted by the image of you wielding vibrating cutters chasing me down long dark hospital corridors :)

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  34. No said is not dead. ridiculous. Glad you yours leg is better. Said is dead ,really

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  35. 'Said is dead'?!!!! Oh dear! I don't have children, but I think the education system might drive me to despair if I did. They do some to get fixated on some very strange ideas. Very glad to hear your son's leg is on the mend. bet he can't wait to get back to football.

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  36. Couldn't agree more!! Well said on all counts.

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  37. I can't abide prose littered from top to tail with every.single.adjective. And adverbs. And,yes, all those different ways is saying that S word. It makes my teeth hurt. I remember when I was a child we were forbidden from using 'nice'. Although enjoying a. Dry early retirement hear in Zürich I am a qualified teacher of children, nippers, bairns. Little People. Ankle Biters. You get the drift. For what it's worth the
    only language I banned in my classroom was the playground variety.

    (Also really happy us Scots are still part of the Union, just thinking about power and such)

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  38. apologies for autocorrect above!

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