Tuesday 21 December 2021

Solving a mystery









Thank you for all your Christmas tree suggestions and chocolate curl advice and commiserations. The littlest boy and I went on a jolly to my favourite garden centre and managed to find a lovely little blue spruce, Picea pungens 'Fat Albert'. We did of course buy it solely for the name. It was the last one there and not entirely symmetrical or indeed vertical, but we are easily pleased and the name made up for absolutely everything. 

It's in a pot, so we'll put it in the garden for the year and bring it in each December - Christmas tree problem solved. After we bought it I was delighted to see that Anna Greenland (Raymond Blanc's gardener) does the same thing and it works a treat. The fact that ours is only two and a half feet tall at present made the whole decoration thing fast and painless as well. I have to admit it is slightly underwhelming as you walk in the room, but again, Fat Albert.

I have been endeavouring to understand sporting things this week, not always entirely voluntarily. I have had test cricket explained to me in fairly minute detail (still none the wiser), football salaries from back in the day analysed and compared (£40 a week at the top level!) and I somehow also found myself trying to understand the Formula 1 race results from the other week. I have read the explanation of what happened three times now and I still don't exactly grasp it. To be honest, I'm still a bit shaky on the off-side rule. The interesting thing is that I don't care, and yet I would still like it not to be beyond me to understand. It was something about all the cars going round in circles and going past each other. If you could put everything that I don't like into a bottle and shake it up, you would pretty much end up with Formula 1 motor racing. I have decided to give it no more thought at all.

Instead, the dog and I have become amateur detectives and are solving a mystery. The other evening, I thought I saw a chicken drumstick in the street a couple of doors up. The dog thought he did too and a rather inelegant tug of war ensued. We went home and in the morning it was gone. The next evening, I stopped for a moment and suddenly realised the dog was trying to eat something. I couldn't really see what was going on in the dark and what was in his mouth, but he was trying desperately get something down his neck. Another tug of war, and I ended up with a huge piece of raw chicken, much to the dog's fury. Somewhere in the battle, a Tesco receipt floated past. I threw the chicken away, washed my hands eighteen times and started wondering what was going on.

The next morning, the Tesco receipt was still there. A clue! Someone had bought a packet of chicken thighs (empty carton later discovered in bin - see, real detecting), Karlsberg lager, garlic potatoes and Gruyere cheese. The plot thickened. I had no idea I had neighbours who would eat something as fancy as Gruyere. So the dog and I worked out that all we have to do is check the recycling boxes on Wednesday for the empties from the lager and a garlic potato tray and we will have a main suspect.

I am guessing that they are feeding the foxes, hopefully unadulterated meat, which I don't object to, although it is starting to be a bit of a free for all out there. There have been more huge pieces of chicken since and yesterday what looked like two big pork steaks. A cat was tucking in, until Bertie came looming round the corner to have a word. I have narrowed down my suspects and I will report back after recycling day.

Wishing you all a lovely winter solstice, I do love this season with its winter skies and bare trees and cosy homes and four o'clock sunsets. Wonderful. CJ xx

15 comments:

  1. Oh how exciting i do love a good mystery but a bit of a worry making sure Bertie doesn’t scoff the lot. I’m a total dunderhead when it comes to sport. The only thing I do understand is tennis and I’m am a wiz at scoring, other than that forget it.
    Love the tree and the fact you will have it for years, hopefully. This year at least you will be able to see the tv :) B x

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  2. Ooo - the plot thickens. I shall look forward to updates. You can't beat a who-dunnit, especially at Christmas!

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  3. That's a lovely tree. Good luck with the sports rules, I never did understand any of them.
    You, the dog and a mystery sounds like a plot for a cosy crime novel. If that food is for the foxes then they're certainly getting well fed.
    Thanks, and for you too. xx

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  4. Your tree is very cute, I like it. I gave in and bought a large tree, feeling a bit bad. Richard thinks it is no different to buying cut flowers. My answer to this was that I only buy cut flowers in season, to which he said it is the season for Christmas trees. Can't win. Funny you mention Formula 1 racing. Fi and Jane talked about this very same on their last Fortunately podcast. They were as puzzled as you are about the rules I think (I was half asleep when listening). My paternal grandmother used to watch Formula one, something I found a bit weird. I hope you found the culprits who waste perfectly good food on foxes. I am not fond of urban foxes but maybe that is because we are almost outnumbered by them in my neighbourhood. I sat face to face with one not long ago, only a windowpane between our two noses. The fox, a beautiful well fed specimen was not bothered about being in my company. I am convinced they sometimes come in through our large cat flap and go for the cat food because no cat can eat that much food. The dog can't reach it so can't be blamed... Happy solstice! Not a day too soon I have to say, it has been exceptionally gloomy here in Glasgow xx

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  5. I love this season too! It just makes me happy to be out walking in the mist and gloaming.
    My grandparents used to put out food for the foxes - it infuriated their farmer neighbour no end. But I think they stuck to leftovers, no fancy fresh chicken breasts for their foxes. They'll be getting ideas about their station.
    Formula One is Not Worth Your Energy. Well done for letting it go.
    Have a wonderful Solstice with your family and Fat Albert (best tree name ever!). Txx

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  6. Who needs a symmetrical tree -? Yours is 'natural'. Good luck on keeping Bertie from the meat debris. Ruby picks all sorts of interesting things up to chew. As soon as I see her mouth going it's fingers in to locate the item before any swallowing is possible.
    I do think footballers were more loyal to there clubs when they were less money oriented. We often saw Leeds Utd players in the local pub and they seemed to stay for their entire playing career.

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  7. I am hooked! I am not often a fan of mysteries, though more-so than formula 1, but this one is compelling!
    Also, Fat Albert is charming!

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  8. So Natalie stopped by my blog and informed me that we have twin food mysteries! (https://www.woolandhome.com/2021/12/the-danger-section.html) Instead of chicken, someone has left out a pan of bread, I assume for the animals. I can't really figure out why someone would buy food to feed wild animals, who presumably could find their own food, but weirder things have happened.

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  9. There is a poor soul in our neighborhood that regularly puts out food (all sorts, you name it) on the street... this mystery is sadly a very dysfunctional one. I don't know much about feeding foxes, but bread in a pan seems not too unreasonable!

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  10. Fat Albert.. I would too! The plot thickens. Maybe it is very busy Tesco drivers dropping things from green crates as they deliver?? Thanks for always dropping by my blog and saying hi. I love coming here for your witty writing style and general take on life. Happy Chrsitmas! Jo xxxxxxxxx

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  11. Sounds like someone is putting down poison, hope I am wrong. I await the next I installment.

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  12. Well, just call you Agatha Christie! I can't wait to find out the identity of the culprit; I'm sure it won't be too long with you and your faithful hound on the case! Fat Albert is adorable and I'd have bought him just for the name too! :O) xx xx

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  13. You do love this season with its... bare trees and cozy homes... I have never thought of it that way. I've always thought of it as cold and gray. What a nice reframing. I hope your tree grows very well for many years to come. :)

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  14. Goodness, they sound like well fed foxes to me. I hope you had a lovely Christmas and wishing you and your family a happy, healthy and peaceful 2022.

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