Being a tree

managed to grow my own standard bay tree from a rooted cutting

the roses? no, that wasn't me

oh, well, okay, maybe it was me then

I'm taking a deep breath as I sit down to chat to you. Dog ownership is a thing of ups and downs I'm finding. But right now he's asleep. In a highly illegal spot on the sofa, but I am ignoring that for the sake of a little peace. You will of course recall how fond I am of a little peace. The sofa he is on is dark brown, with a mid-brown sheepskin on it (called Larry). Bertie jumps on when he thinks no-one is looking and flattens himself out in the middle of Larry and concentrates on being invisible. He looks up just by moving his eyes, not his head, all the better to remain undetected.

He is incredibly bitey, and his favourite person to bite is the littlest boy. We have tried all the things you are supposed to do: yelping - we really have perfected our yelps - standing like a tree or alternatively going limp. The biggest boy and I laughed so much one evening trying to go limp as a small rabid dog tried to tear us limb from limb. He was growling and shaking and sinking his teeth all the way in and I was yelling, "Go limp, just GO LIMP!" I don't remember the last time I laughed so much. I have a feeling it was verging on hysteria.

Being a tree is occasionally successful, but the littlest boy is unable to stop himself from backing away and trying to pick his feet up out of the way. Of course this is the most exciting thing possible to Bertie and he attacks all the more. This morning he tried entertaining him in the garden by blowing bubbles - a suggestion in his Puppy Training For Kids Book. Bertie bit his ankle and he promptly tipped the entire pot of bubble mixture all down his pyjamas. I thought it had gone over the dog for a moment and had visions of having to rinse it all out.

Anyway, it's hard work, but I'm sure you all know that already, you don't need me to tell you. I have not been the most patient person. I am feeling slightly fraught by the fact that I don't seem to get anything much done each day, and it's making me feel a bit overwhelmed. Oh, it will pass, I know, and I shall miss his giant-pawed puppiness when it's gone.

I drafted in the biggest boy to water the garden for me this evening. After he had finished the earth was still completely bone dry. Sigh. It's been done properly now (middle boy) and some small semblance of order is fleetingly here.

Are all enjoying the summer weather? I particularly like being able to be outside first thing and last thing without a cardigan. That doesn't happen often. Enjoy the rest of the week.