Fat rascals and obnoxiousness

 

Well that's rather a dismal selection of photos isn't it. The first one is from two weeks ago as the littlest boy's snowman slowly sank in on himself. His head was at a really jaunty angle for a couple of days and I was waiting for the moment when it fell off. It was pretty much all I had going on to be honest. Anyway, it rained and he dissolved in an instant, so there wasn't even any head-off drama. We haven't had any snow since.

Then the middle boy had a birthday. And that is all of my news. If that looks like a yule log it's because it is a yule log. I didn't make one at Christmas (sometimes it just seems as if there's enough food) so he asked for one for his birthday. Fifteen already. I tried to interest him in an online family locked room game, but he just laughed incredulously and explained that such a thing relied on teamwork and cooperation and we never spoke of it again. 

Chess has been big here lately. Nothing to do with the television thing, haven't seen it, but the urchins are rather obsessed nonetheless. They have a timer now, which I thought would be a good thing, but it turns out I can't concentrate on going quickly, thinking up moves and pressing a timer as well, it is just all too much. 

The littlest boy had an absolute triumph the other day when he beat everyone in the house in one day. The biggest boy said, 'How come when he plays dad he's really bad but when he plays me he elevates himself to international Grand Master level?' The littlest boy went around singing 'I'm the best' for quite a while. Yes, in case you were wondering, we are all totally obnoxious in this house. And deluded.

I am making a resolution to take more photos. Maybe even one a day. I used to do that, but it was a lot easier when the urchins were small and did cute stuff and didn't mind a camera pointed at them too much. The littlest boy and I made some cherry fat rascals just now, from a Sam Stern recipe, so I shall start with a picture of them if I can. They're quite big, but Sam made them twice the size. I can't say I've ever had a fat rascal, I wonder if they're supposed to be the size of a saucer??? I'm not objecting you understand, it's just when I do baking I usually like to end up with more than five of a thing.

I've been taking the ice off of the pond every morning, a good centimetre some days, which is very unusual. I did it originally to lift off all the duckweed, which works a treat for getting rid of it, but then I realised how much the birds were appreciating the water, so I kept doing it. Yesterday a blackbird had a really long bath, which surprised me, given how cold it was.

I've sown some seeds, after being late with everything last year. Tomatoes and cucumbers and sweet peas and delphiniums. Although the hot tomato-ripening days of summer seem a long way off at the moment. 

How are things at your end? Good I hope. I shall be back anon with some actual photos and more tales from the sharp end. CJ xx

A miracle in bread

 

Obligatory snow shots from the morning dog walk. Otherwise it's been on the damp side. I did have something absolutely amazing to show you, but sadly now I don't. This is what happened... You may recall I bake a loaf of bread most days in a bread machine. The urchins get through a LOT of the stuff. Well, this morning when I went to take it out, there was a big flake stuck to the side of the tin, and when I removed it, it was shaped just like Great Britain, yes it was. A giant breadcrumb in the shape of Britain! I know! I showed the littlest boy, who was suitably impressed, then I eased it onto a plate and told him I'd show the others, who would also be amazed, and then I would photograph it. 

Anyway, fast forward a couple of hours and we fell out about something or other and he stomped off into the kitchen AND ATE IT. The lesson being, if you ever come across something truly phenomenal you should take a picture of it immediately. I am of course hugely disappointed, I was almost certain it would go viral, if not make the front page of The Times. Honestly, you would have been lost for words. It had East Anglia and John o' Groats and Stranraer and Pembrokeshire and I bet I could even have found Northern Ireland if I'd gone back in the bread machine. There was quite a bit of Cornwall missing, but other than that it was pretty miraculous. 

Otherwise I'm not sure I really have any news. Does anyone else? I've been working a lot and doing the odd bike ride, but otherwise staying below the parapet and powering on through. 

The littlest boy is doing his online lessons opposite me at the dining table, which is brilliant because he has me on tap to fetch things for him whenever he needs them. It's quite funny hearing him in a lesson. I pretend not to hear anything, but of course I am listening to it all. Well, his bits anyway, he wears headphones. His PE teacher said that mums and dads could join in the workout, but sadly he wouldn't let me. Maybe next time...

Hope all is well out there and that everyone is hanging onto their sanity. 

Do not pass go

The Bristolian pronunciation made me laugh

Greetings lovely people from the good ship 2021. I hope this finds you well and ready to tackle the New Year with all the fantastic clean, cold January energy. I do love summer, but I always feel far more productive when it's a bit chilly somehow.

Board games are still in full swing here, being thrown across the room almost daily. Monopoly is an absolute horror, and yet I still find myself saying, 'Oh go on then, just a quick game,' when someone suggests it ten minutes before bed. Honestly, who invents these things?

The littlest boy and I made a trip to the mini zoo nearby. I was very taken with a tree in a pot. A blue cedar? I'm not sure. I do love a nice shaped evergreen in the depths of winter. We spent a long time walking through a wilderness zone without spotting anything much. I was happy that the animals had enough space to disappear, although a glimpse might have been nice.

Homeschool has been rolled out across Above The River Towers. The littlest boy gets to sit opposite me while he has his lessons. It gives him the opportunity to ask for snacks every twenty minutes. I felt the drama teacher may have slightly lost control of it all this afternoon. There was a lot of sniggering and apparently some people were blowing into their microphones and messing about. Oh, and she was appearing on the screen upside down. I really felt for her and was all mummish and stern.

The school seem to be making a pretty fantastic job of it all this time, after the first lockdown when no discernible learning seemed to take place at all. Not in this house anyway. 

I managed to write 100,000 words across November and December in the end, and now I have shrieked to a halt. More discipline needed I feel. I should write that on a Post-It and stick it to the wall.

How are things in your corner of the globe? Good I hope, all things considered. I'm sending you wishes of a very happy and successful New Year. And recommending that you do not even consider Monopoly during lockdown, if you have one. CJ xx

Merry and bright

Ready or not, here it comes. A bit of baking left to do here, which I'll try and squeeze in somehow. I'm not exactly taking a break over Christmas, but working from home means I'm always here anyway and I can be flexible.

The littlest boy and I made a foray into town this afternoon, more for the exercise than anything. We went to the garden shop for tasty dog snacks. The high street was really quiet. It was closed to traffic early on in the pandemic, which has upset the retailers because of the loss of passing trade. I'm hoping there won't be any losses of the independent shops.

A friend of mine has just opened a plastic-free shop, which is pretty brilliant. An antidote to the horrors of festive packaging. 

I have a couple of little outings planned, but some of the things we usually do and places I wanted to take the urchins are in different counties, and we're surrounded by lower tiers, so we'll no doubt be staying closer to home. 

I've been enjoying walking about the place on these short, dark days. I love midwinter, in particular that last hour of daylight which always seems so magical. Walking home, with lights going on in people's houses, having somewhere warm and dry and cosy to go to, it's such a good feeling. The dog has been less impressed with getting wet paws three times a day, but no doubt he'll toughen up.

On the subject of toughening up, the middle boy made me laugh earlier today. We were talking about the different years at school no longer mix and how it's all one-way now, so there is no more shoving of Year 7s (the youngest ones - 11-12 year olds) out of the way in the corridor in brutal fashion. I felt they wouldn't be properly toughened up. He said they also wouldn't learn proper respect for their elders. On reflection, perhaps an entire tradition will be completely lost. When they get to years 10 and 11, will they instinctively know to knock the smaller people flying? Or will they be all polite and well-mannered? It could change the whole basis of civilisation. 

Anyway, I shall stop blithering and wish you all the very best for the season. Any festive baking to be done your way? I need to knock up a nice nut roast for the vegans/vegetarians and a vegan chocolate pudding for the vegans/people who don't like Christmas pudding, then I feel I must be just about ready. There is food in the fridge (or at least, there was yesterday, which isn't necessarily quite the same thing), the dog has a good variety of snacks plus an exciting new flat squirrel toy to play with, in lieu of an actual squirrel, as they've proved devilishly tricky to catch, and just one door left on the advent calendar. It is a Christmas at the Palace one, and if the last big double door at the front of the palace does not reveal the Queen and a whole bunch of corgis I will be mightily disappointed. I will let you know.

Have a lovely day, and see you on the other side. CJ xx

By the rivers

The Christmas tree is up. I sent the eldest to pick it up from the Scout Hut, being as he has all the muscles from the gym membership. I thought I might as well get my money's worth. He had a choice of a thin one or a really, really fat one. He chose the really, really fat one, and barely made it home, having to stop three times en route, despite all of the expensive muscles.

The space we have available is suited to a very slender tree. When I unwrapped the one he'd brought home we all stood there lost for words. It is the world's thickest tree, as wide as it is tall, and exceptionally luxuriant. A triumph of tree growing. And entirely unsuited to the narrow space between the fireplace and the television. I levered it in as best I could. It has a sort of malevolent dark presence in the corner of the room, sucking all the light out of it somehow. The middle boy and I, who tend to sit on a two-person sofa to the left of the fireplace, will not be able to view the television with the rest of the family throughout the festive season. We aren't that bothered to be honest, we're very well suited to sitting outside of the circle making sarcastic remarks that we think are funny, so we'll do that instead.

Photos from a trip to the River Severn (bird watching) and a trip to the River Avon (fishing). Birds but no fish. 

I put my back out the other day. Nothing too dramatic, it'll sort itself out in a bit, but I am blaming the dog. He had an appointment at the groomer's and as soon as he realised where we were going he sat down and refused to move, so I had to carry him the rest of the way. By the time we got there, he was shaking like a leaf. He does try to be brave, but when the chips are down he just wants to be at home on the sofa with me. 

In a moment of madness, I decided to try and write another 50,000 words of the fiction manuscript in December, having managed 50,000 in November. Maintaining the momentum and all that. Along with the day job of freelance writing, it is proving challenging. I have done 25,000 so far though, which is good. If I don't push myself, I think I'm a bit lazy. 

I am considering a bokashi bin. Has anyone ever given it a go? I like the idea of being able to compost cooked food and things. Although the wormery would do that, I tend not to put cooked food in there. I do love fermenting stuff though. I am making a batch of miso at the moment. And I always have kefir and sourdough on the go and quite often some kimchi. It really is rather magical. If you have any bokashi tips or advice to impart, please feel free. And don't be afraid to put me off, I do tend to get these ideas and they don't always turn out well.

Hope all is well at your end. CJ xx

Of dormice and oven gloves

I fell over in the woods trying to photograph fungi. I was exiting the undergrowth when my feet got stuck and the rest of me kept going out onto the path. I landed splat in the mud, with my camera plunging in deep. Sigh. The dog was bemused. The camera wasn't happy before the mud, it's even sorrier for itself now. But I have a mushroom photo, so I am happy. I LOVE all things fungi. Utterly fascinating, and something I wish I knew more about. One day...

I am pressing on with NaNoWriMo. At around 42,000 words for the month as we speak. It's amazing how much I can get done in November. Why not in all the other months???

I even found the time to eat a chilli the other evening. The middle boy and I were hanging out in the biggest boy's room, which is the nicest bedroom out of the boys' rooms, with a good view and a lovely big south-facing window with a chilli plant on it and space and no annoying sloping ceiling on which to bang your head, and he said, shall I eat a chilli? I said no, oh go on then. So he did. And he seemed quite calm afterwards, so I ate one too. It really wasn't too bad for the first minute or two. And then it was excruciating. Then the biggest boy came in to see what all the fuss was about. He can't stand spicy food, but you know boys and a challenge, so he ate one as well. Honestly, I think we are all barking sometimes. We have just about recovered now, but it might be a while before I make a curry.

I did tofu and roasted vegetables tonight and managed to set the oven gloves on fire. I left them on a hot plate and didn't notice. Then I put my hand inside. I noticed at that point. My finger will probably be okay in a few days. But I fear the gloves are ruined. To be fair, they were already slightly charred, from the day when I washed them, then decided to pop them in the warm oven after I'd finished baking something to dry them off because they're so thick. It turned out the oven was warmer than I'd anticipated and oven gloves are surprisingly not entirely resistant to heat. So they had a slightly toasted look to them before today. Now they are black. There was smoke coming out of the inside bit where I put my hand. Any recommendations for eco-friendly or charity contributing oven gloves gratefully received.

Did anyone see the dormouse story this week? Apparently a dormouse climbed inside of a clear plastic bird feeder tube, stuffed his face with bird food and was so fat that climbing back out was tricky, so he just went to sleep. When the people went outside, there he was, like some latterday Winnie the Pooh, snoozing, with his little furry face against the plastic. The birds carried on eating around him, although no doubt they were outraged.

The people rang the dormice specialists who said to gently release him somewhere safe. Afterwards I was listening to a podcast about how good positive news is for us. We should apparently pollute our brains with it. And I wondered what it would be like if the main news channels led with stories like this. An in-depth twenty-minute segment on the story. No aspect left unexamined. They could slot all of the other stuff into short 15-second announcements at the end, but the thing that would occupy our thoughts for the rest of the day would be all of the cheery dormouse news. Story here if you missed it.

Hope all is well at your end. Any good news stories we should know about? Feel free to share. CJ xx

A disappointing result

 

I cannot lie, I am bitterly disappointed about the weekend's results. Although not entirely unexpected, the slide late on to a veritable gulf between the two was a crushing blow. There is always that moment at the start when you think that it will go your way. Ever the optimist, I always set out with huge expectations. Dreams. I picture the victory. Sadly, this time it was not to be. But I shall not be crushed for long. For there is next time, always next time. And that is the thing with Forest Green Rovers, you cannot keep them down. They may have gone crashing 6-2 out of the Emirates Cup, but next week it's Swindon Town and we will SHOW THEM NO MERCY. 

Apologies for the rather blurry photo. My camera is in need of repair but it's one of those jobs that slides ever onwards down the to-do list, never quite making the top. Part of the problem is that I don't have a clue where to take it. Handy repair shops aren't that common any more. And they probably aren't open anyway, so I shall slide it a bit further down the to-do list and Tackle It Another Day.

The two older urchins did some helping out today as I had a mountain of work to get through, which was astonishing and rather pleasing (the help, not the work). The middle one made lunch and dinner and the oldest one raked some leaves up. All with very little moaning. I am wondering if they are up to something, it was so unexpected and surprising. We are not one of those families where people help other people out on the whole, rather one of those families where mother does everything and crashes around the place furiously because no one else ever lifts a finger. I wonder if the winds of change are blowing my way.

The middle boy made me laugh the other day when he said that dinner was 'a lot better than usual'. Oh my. Although I suspect it was today as well. I would be helped if the littlest boy didn't keep getting me to buy obscure ingredients so that he can work through his school cookery booklet (no cooking allowed in school any more) and then not getting round to it, so I have to try and insert them into some sort of nutritional meal. 

At school now they just watch while the teacher does the cookery, although they are allowed to try it afterwards. Apparently on Muffin Day, everyone else on his table left to go home, so he got all of their muffin allowance himself. He lives for that kind of moment. It was sausage roll demonstrations the other day. Apparently (and I quote) there are so many ways to wrap a sausage roll. I had no idea.

Hope everyone is well and cheery out there. Good news on the US election results no? But a real shame about Forest Green. Can't win 'em all.